EmmaSage

Conflicting Messages

2012-01-16T16:56:00.000-08:00

Nightly News ran this segment this evening. Child Model with Down syndrome Inspires Thousands.

My heart sank during this piece.

The message…..the Normalcy of Difference. That people with Down syndrome are included….amongst their peers [or at least in print on the pages of advertising] and one would hope in real life, and that it is no big deal…as they are part of the whole and the silent message sent by these types of ads will allow in time for society to embrace people of difference without thought or effort to be included.

In my perfect world, they are included. Period.

But the message was not that in this segment, when they showed Ryan and announced that he attends a school for children with Down syndrome.

Don’t get me wrong, I know the school, Stepping Stones, as it is in my state [and I have even gone to look at it for Emma Sage, because our former special education director insisted that children like my daughter are better off with children who are just like her...so I went to say I went.] and I have friends whose children attend the school and love it for their children. My vent is not about their choice.......it is completely about the MESSAGE of Inclusion [and to think that today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.....how sad that segregation still occurs in this day in age, not based on color, but by disability]

But this one moment, this one small segment of this new piece does more damage than I think others realize, because it highlighted segregation based on the diagnosis of Down syndrome.

It was NOT the mention that Ryan attends school with his twin brother Ian, or that Ryan attends his neighborhood school…..or even better yet, he attends a private school or a charter school….But of a school specifically for children with Down syndrome.

My heart sank…..thinking of all the parents [me included] who have fought for years to have their child with Down syndrome be included with their peers in their community school.

Sigh…

This is not a debate or even a discussion....it was just my heavy heart sighing........

A sad little girl......

2011-08-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Emma Sage is one sad little girl today. Her sweet kitty, Gracie, was hit by a car on our lane. She and I were outside watering plants when we saw the car go by quickly and we heard a loud 'bump'.

My heart paused when I heard it, and I began to pray that it was just a limb or branch that tend to fall to the road from time to time. I slowly went to the arbor gate and peeked on the road, hoping to see a piece of wood.

But it was not.....it was a beautiful gray kitty, laying there.

I asked Emma Sage to quickly get a towel from the bathroom and to call her brother Otto to come help.

I scooped Gracie up and brought her to the front porch, where we held her and cried as she took her last breathes.

Emma Sage and I sat there for a long time. Talking to her and telling her how much we loved her and that she was the bestest kitty in the whole world [which she was]. The Cicada's were singing their summer song as we sat and mourned this loss.

Emma Sage told me that she could still feel her heart beeping and that she was just sleeping. I tried explaining death to her again, and she told me that 'she knows, Gracie is in heaven with Nana' but she continued to tell me she was just asleep, and I hugged her and let her know that it was a beautiful, eternal sleep.

We buried her under the Cherry tree.

Emma Sage and I made a cross out of sticks and placed flowers from the garden on sweet Gracie's grave.

A friend of mine had posted a thought that resonated exactly what we experienced yesterday and wanted to share it here.

"The Cicada Chorus and the Katydid Cantata remind me that as the ocean waves count the pulse of the earth and the passage of time......all things change and all things stay the same. Hello and goodbye really DO mean the same thing. Love is what remains........."

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam ~~ Rest in Peace sweet kitty

The Year of the Rabbit ~ The Gift of a Grandmother

2011-02-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

Today is a very emotional day for me, as I have lost the last ‘Mother’ in my life…..my sweet, beloved Mamie.

I am a Mother myself [and at times feel so inadequate and inept at that privilege of being called ‘Mother’]……and long to have my own Mother or Grandmother comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. It is a vulnerable feeling……as you feel truly alone, as our ‘Mothers’ are our special gifts, the ones that comfort and console and even if they can’t make things right ~ they let you know you are loved and adored unconditionally…..and that knowledge makes everything alright in the world.

Today is also the Chinese Lunar New Year.

I have an affinity for the moon, so the Lunar New Year has always been a special time for me.

It is the year of the Rabbit.

As with any tradition, there are a myriad of interpretations as to the meaning of what this means, especially with something as uncertain and broad as a full year.

Reflecting on the Beauty and Grace of the Matriarch of my family, I am going to identify the characteristics of my ‘Rabbit’ based on the spirit of Mamie.

I choose to make this the year of peace, of the calming of my nerves, so that I can embrace and deal with whatever challenges may arise. I am focusing on creating a calm, peaceful sustainable lifestyle. Mamie was the most brilliant at being thrifty and she and my PopPop planted the most incredible gardens……….in honor of her spirit, I will work hard to make my gardens as bountiful and beautiful as hers.

As the rabbit is the symbol of the moon, I vow to celebrate by stepping out into the night often, and to look at the moon, to howl at it and to visualize myself surrounded in its glow. In that glow I will bounce my dreams off of and celebrate the gift of each day.

This particular Year of the Rabbit is a metal one — as opposed to a water, wood, fire or earth Year of the Rabbit. To get a feel for what that might mean, I consider the attributes of metal, and the ones I choose to focus on and subsequently emulate are firmness of principles and strength of purpose. With these in mind, I vow to hold true to my ideals.

In Chinese thought, the negative aspect or emotion of the Year of the Rabbit is grief; the positive emotion for the year is courage. Once again, I choose to decide which aspects to embrace and which to ignore, and in this case I shall endeavor to reflect fearlessness and in the moment of this day, I embrace the grief of the loss of my beloved Mamie……but in that grief ~ I look to the amazing Blessing she was in my life and celebrate her life and vow to embody her Grace in all of my daily actions.

Now the meaning is set and the day is upon me, let me move forward in Grace.

The Beatitudes for Friends of Exceptional Children

2011-01-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech:
For you help us to know that if we persevere,
We can be understood.

Blessed are you who walk with us in public places,
And ignore the stares of strangers,
For in your companionship,
We find havens of peace.

Blessed are you who never bid us to "hurry up",
And more blessed are you
Who do not snatch tasks from our hands to do them for us,
For often we need time rather than help.

Blessed are you who stand beside us
As we enter new and untried ventures,
For our failures will be outweighed
By the times we surprise ourselves and you.

Blessed are you who ask for our help,
For our greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you when you assure us,
That the one thing that makes us individuals
Is not in our peculiar muscles,
Nor in our wounded nervous systems,
Nor in our difficulties in learning,
Nor any exterior difference.
But is in our inner, personal, individual self
Which no affirmity can diminish or erase.

~~Author Unknown

The Power of Pizza

2011-01-15T12:53:00.000-08:00

Pizza - peet-suh –noun
* a flat, open-faced baked pie of Italian origin, consisting of a thin layer of bread dough topped with spiced tomato sauce and cheese, often garnished with anchovies, sausage slices, mushrooms, etc

Sas*sy [sas-ee] –adjective * fresh, impertinent, impudent, overbold, saucy

And no, I am not talking about the *saucy* you put on a pizza pie.

I am talking about this little angelic looking child.

See this face, this is the face of one very sassy little girl. Lately she has been full of spitfire.

She is nine going on 19. She has decided of late to push the envelope, to test those of us ‘in charge’.

Yesterday I got a call from her teacher. She dared her teacher ‘to call my Mother’ after the first time she was given the chance to make a ‘good’ choice.

Her crime? Dancing in the middle of the classroom.

On the third chance Mrs. Andrade had no choice but to call.

My heart stopped when I glanced at my cell phone lighting up on my desk….and recognized the phone number as the school’s phone number.

“Hello” I answer [dreading the words I might hear next]

“Hello Mrs. Hintz, this is Mrs. Andrade. I am sorry to bother you at work, but Emma Sage has been given three chances to make a good choice and she knew that if she did not do that, I had to call you [as you know if I use it as a consequence I have to follow through" [I so love this teacher]

I ask "what is her crime?"
“She is dancing in the middle of the classroom and will not come over to her desk to go to the next task at hand” Mrs. Andrade continues

[now mind you, this is all new to me. My older three never, ever got into trouble at school. They were the children that teachers raved about as always listening and doing as they were told]……My Katrina actually told me last night as I was telling her the story that she would have been petrified at the thought of her teacher having to call me to report bad behavior]

And here is little Miss Emma Sage daring her teacher to*call my Mother*.

Yikes [can I get a prescription for Valium?]
My little imp gets on the phone….bright and cheerful is her voice.

“Hi Mommy. I love you.” she joyfully says

Sigh, now I have to be the mean one.

“Emma Sage, you need to make a good choice and stop dancing in the middle of the classroom and get back to your work. I am very sad that your teacher had to call me.” I say.

“Katrina say’s I’m a good girl”. is her response.......an indication to me that she is dismissing me and not listening to what I am saying.

“You are a good girl; you just need to listen to your teacher right now!!!!” I continue, hoping she listens to me.

“OK Mommy, bye” she says.

Mrs. Andrade gets back on and says “Thank you”

I respond “I am so sorry; I will have a stern talking with her tonight”

Ugh.

I get off the phone and call Katrina and tell her under no circumstance are you to get her the treat you promised her today ‘a strawberry smoothie’ and I asked her and Greta to both have a ‘heart-to-heart’ talk with this sassy little imp.

When I got home, I got a big hug and a ‘I am sorry’

I sat her down and pulled out the big guns.

“If you do not behave tomorrow, we will NOT be having Friday Pizza Night”

“I will be good Mommy” she says, as sweet as can be.

[and I would be lying if I also didn’t mention that I also very sternly told her if the teacher EVER has to call me again about negative behavior, she will never, ever have pizza again ~lol…you know I’m joking about the pizza]

You can imagine the feeling I had this morning when that cell phone of mine started ringing from the school.

“Sugar” I thought [yes, I candy-coated that thought]

“Hello” I hesitantly say.

“Good morning Mrs. Hintz, it is Colleen Andrade. How are you today?”

I pause, thinking to myself [well I don’t know, but I guess I will after I hear what you have to say?!?]

“Good, thank you…..and you?” [Dear Lord, please let it be good news]

“I am wonderful and Emma Sage is having a fantastic day……I don’t know what you said to her, but she is back to her typical, happy, complacent self!” she continues “I told her I was going to call you to tell you how well she is doing, listening, making good choices.

I laugh [and sigh a deep, deep sigh]….”Oh thank goodness……I told her that she was not going to have pizza tonight if she did not listen in school "

“Well, it is working wonderfully!” she replies.

“I am so thankful and I thank you for all your patience. Have a great weekend” I reply

Hanging up the phone I sigh and I realize the ‘Power of Pizza’

Momma has a new gun in the arsenal……......a cheesy, saucy, doughy, delicious treat ~ Pizza!

2010-11-16T04:26:00.000-08:00

"The bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone — Shel Silverstein

Sesame Street: Will.i.am's Song "What I Am"

2010-11-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

Emma Sage has taught me exactly what this song implies.......never give up, keep on reaching higher and what you are is perfectly you! There is no one else exactly like you, and there is nothing you can't achieve if you believe in your self! Thanks Will i am.....

Remembering my Sweet Mother......

2010-11-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light.
- Felix Adler, 1851 - 1933

‎'Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take nothing that you have received...…but only what you have given' ~ Saint Francis of Assisi

Conversations with Emma Sage

2010-09-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

This child can always make me feel a full range of emotions by her sweet conversation's.

Earlier today we were out running errands.

She asks me "Mommy will you get me a car for my birthday?"

I reply "A real Car?"

"Yes, a real car. A real yellow car" she responds.

so I say "For which birthday?" and she pipes in

"For my Sweet 16 silly"

lol........seriously. The funny thing is, she is absolutely serious about getting her drivers license. I know it has been achieved by others with Down syndrome, and I don't doubt my little girl at all that she too will achieve this goal....considering her mind is already set on it. [and she is stubborn when she has her mind set on something!]

Then a little while later she says to me......

"In nine more years I will be in college"

I look in the rear view mirror at her grinning face.

"Yes, 9 more years I reply" my heart sinking a little bit at the thought~

and then she asks "Are you going to miss me?"

Whaaaaa......talk about tugging at this Mommas heartstrings.

"Yes, I say....with all my heart and soul I will miss you."

"good" is her matter-of-fact response.

I guess this Momma can't keep her baby from growing up.

Sigh.

Stand By Me - completely unknown artists

2010-09-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects." ~Herman Melville ............we are so Blessed to be part of the collective whole. Celebrate this day!!!!!

God Doesn't Make Mistakes - Down syndrome song CD

2010-09-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

i have a voice - Down syndrome Awareness Project

2010-09-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

There are times........

2010-09-13T18:41:00.001-07:00

that I realize that I am living in a bubble. I live my life purely, simply, compassionately and lovingly. I have nurtured, nourished and raised my children in love. I have taught them to think outside of themselves and I am very proud of all the volunteering they do, on their own, with their own free will.

I had a Mother who gave the clothes off her backs for others.....her food, her heart, her home. I aspire to live as authentically as my Beloved Mother did, as her greatest gift was of friendship for those who truly needed a friend.

I am humbled to see others give freely, of their time, of their money, of their talents and of their hearts.

I try to live each day ~ with the thoughts that if I can do something to help another human being, I have done a good days work.

Through this blog, I have tried to show the world the normalcy of difference. To see that everyone is a child of GOD.

I live in the richest country of the world.....I live in a Valley that is picturesque, fertile, safe and truly a little piece of heaven on earth.

I was born into Freedom. I have never wanted for food, clothing or shelter.

and then I meet a friend from Burma, and my eyes are wide open. Everything that I know, I believe, I feel ~ is shaken........because I really don't know.

I don't know what it is like to live without the right to speak freely, to worship freely, to Mother without the fear of my child dying of starvation, or from abuse, or from random acts of violence.

I don't know what it is like to not have fresh water, enough food to eat, a place to live, clothes to protect me from the elements or the freedom to live in peace.

I truly don't know...........

I want to be a catalyst for change.

Please join me in raising our voices for Freedom for all people.....................

"We need not think alike to love alike." ~Francis David

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

2010-09-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Rest in Peace Man in Black.......

In reflection of September 11th - may we all find it in our heart to sing a song of Freedom, for all people.

Freedom from Prejudice

Freedom from Hunger

Freedom from persecution and slavery

Freedom from hatred and cold hearts

More Magic from my dear friend Fran.......

2010-09-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

I believe in angels........

both celestial and earth born.

My dear online Fran is exactly that......an earth born Angel. She always knows how to touch my heart and brighten my days.

Our paths crossed by the amazing paradigm of the Internet.......she stumbled upon me because of my sweet little earth Angel Emma Sage and my blogging and capturing her life in photographs and words.

On her own, she reached out to me and asked to use a photograph.........thanking me for allowing her to do just that. Little did she know, I am the one who gives her 'Thanks' everyday.......for seeing the beauty in my child - Emma Sage and for creating for me gifts of Magic by her talent in taking my photographs and turning them into precious memories for me.

Today I give thanks.......to Fran and all the other amazing souls out there who reach out to others and who see the beauty in all of GODs children.

Peace and love, Tara Marie

Remembrance.......

2010-09-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago..........September 11, 2001

Nine years ago.............our world shook. It wasn't because of a natural disaster, like the Tsunami or Hurricane Katrina, but it was a far worse disaster ~ because it was created by human hatred

Life for our family is good [we are truly blessed] and the morning of September 11, 2001 found us in our typical daily routine.........up early, breakfast, drive the children to school and then Emma Sage and I would come home to a quite morning.

Rick was in Montreal, Canada, for school [we had been up to see him a week earlier and spent a glorious vacation touring Montreal, driving home Labor Day weekend.........because of the terror attacks Rick was not able to return home to us for days.]

I dropped Katrina and Greta off at Woodglen and then drove down the valley to drop Otto off at school at Valley View. On the way to Valley View I noticed a plane flying very low..........lower than I have ever seen a commercial flight on the flight pattern we see from our area heading to Newark Airport. I notice planes all the time because of Ricks career in aviation. I shrugged it off as maybe I was just off my bearings that morning.

It was truly a glorious September day,,,,,,,,,,,,,the sky was bright blue, the air was dry and warm, the landscape was draped in light that just made it look like a Rembrandt painting.

Emma Sage and I got home and went inside to hear the phone ringing. I answered the phone and it was my sister Patti, telling me to turn on the news as a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I had a brief moment of fear..............I had worked for years in the area and at one point in my life, had dinner at least once a week at Windows of the World,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then another sinking fear, I was supposed to be at a financial conference put on by Risk/Waters magazine this morning, but I had turned the job down because I just couldn't leave Emma Sage.

I watched the TV,,,,,talking with Patti on the phone. I said to her that I couldn't believe a small plane could have done such damage. I started to cry...........holding Emma Sage in my arms, pacing back and forth, kissing her sweet head and talking with Patti.........
and then BAMM!!!!

In horror my sister and I [on the phone with each other] watched the second plane crash into the second tower. I knew as I watched the plane that it was a big commercial plane and at that exact moment I knew this was a calculated attack.

Patti and I were both crying,,,,,trying to come to terms with what we just saw. All along I clutched this precious child of mine to my chest. Not wanting to let go of her, afraid of what was going on.

This was familiar territory to me..........buildings that were an important part of my life. I watched these buildings being built,,,,,my father driving us to the city from time to time to marvel at the progress of the towers going up,up,up,,,up. A fellow skydiver friend of mine jumped off the Trade Center. I dined at Windows of the World weekly for a few years, I traveled through the towers everyday to the American Express tower in the Financial Trade Center and the building I worked in for Merrill Lynch was the last building to fall on that fateful day. As I watched the TV screen, I was paralyzed by fear and overcome by a sadness that was, to this day, so utterly profound.

I tried to call Rick and after hours I was finally able to get through to him in Canada to let him know what was happening in the states.

I then I felt so alone. Watching the horror unfold............talking to my sister and crying, and holding my precious little girl.

As time has moved forward, I realize that there is a reason for everything [sometimes many reasons] and I know that Emma Sage is a blessing in multiple ways..........but one incredible feeling I will never release is the feeling that I have knowing that her extra chromosome [her Down syndrome] is a major reason I was not at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Her birth made Rick and I realize that my being home with the children [but especially this child],,,,giving up much in the way of income,,,,meant that she would have only family to care for her..........to work with her,,,to help her develop to her fullest potential, and it kept me home on that fateful Tuesday in September.

Today I remember a dear friend, David E. Rivers,Editor of Risk/Waters Magazine.......You were truly an amazing man, editor, writer, friend, husband and father. David, you are missed dearly and will never be forgotten.

This is the memorial at our township park.....these are beams from one of the World Trade Center buildings.

2,996.........
Otto helped place these flags on the field on Wednesday evening with his Boy Scout troop.......he said that each flag he placed, he had to hold back tears......

Written by a child........may we always remember.

........and on this Eve of September 11th, I reflect with even sadder and more profound tears of remembrance, as a very dear friend of mine was a first responder whose life has been deeply changed because of all he witnessed and dealt with on the scene.

I am humbled by the dignity, bravery, grace, compassion and nobility exhibited by all those who went forward without thought of themselves to help others.

I am saddened to hear others talk lightly about what happened.......and I pray that we never, ever forget what truly happened on that fateful day.

May we always remember.......

May we always remember........

Quiet Reflection

2010-09-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.” ~Barbara De Angelis

I took this today at our Church picnic........we were waiting on the banks of the South Branch of the Raritan River for the ducks to float downstream for the 'Duck Race'.....

Little Miss loves the water [as does her Momma......this is the same place I have been coming to since I was a little girl, to sit out on the water on a rock and read or just daydream]

Lately, I have been struggling......being pulled in so many directions. Giving so much of myself on so many levels and today, just standing in the water [yes, I took off my shoes and had to wade in] I realized that these quiet times......these moments of reflection are what have been missing in my life.

I took a hot bath tonight.......and I'm leaving the 'To-Do' list sitting on the table. It will be there tomorrow and I can only do what I can do. It is a difficult journey flying solo all the time, but it is not impossible. I just need to keep repeating to myself "I can only do what I can do ~ and it is going to be OK"

So sweet dreams world.......

Tomorrow is another day.

2010-08-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

I think it annoys God if you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice.
- ~Alice Walker From "The Color Purple

2010-08-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

Today has been such a beautiful day [and it is only half over]......the glorious feeling I had from the moment I awoke to a delicious summer morning.....cool, sunny, breezy and just utterly perfect, was echoed again at church. Emma Sage radiates such joy at church, she truly feels the spirit. Today was a baptism, so this Momma's heart always swells with the overwhelming love that only a Mother can feel......a pure unconditional love for your child, every child.

Then our word of the lord today came from Luke 14:7......and it resonated with me.

I choose to be the humble quest, to open my heart, my life to everyone.........not only those who might serve my life some purpose. I choose pure unconditional love and friendship and fellowship.

and then this song came to mind............and I had to share. Being a Mother of a child with different needs has opened my heart and mind in ways I could have never imagined.

But the biggest realization has been that the gift of unconditional love and acceptance are truly the greatest gifts we have.....and ones that are freely bestowed upon us by GOD.

the ebb and flow of life......

2010-08-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

~~~life has been very rich and full of late, and at times confusing and overwhelming. I find when I am being swept into the raging currents of the river, it is best for me to just hold on and enjoy the ride, keeping sight in the distance for smoother waters.......whereas that time I can relax a moment and sit and reflect and in the case of my photography and blog, sit and edit and post.

I have also come to find that the paradigm of Facebook, as made it easier for me to leave little snippets of life and the goings on of Emma Sage, her siblings and myself there......thus this blog, this passion of mine to share with the world the normalcy of difference gets neglected.

But, even though we have be moving through currents, they are not all that bad and overwhelming......in fact, most of it has been exhilarating and bursting with love and life.

Emma Sage has been having a glorious summer......she is so darn sweet and just the best adaptable child ever. It has been a full year since I had to leave the life I lived [and absolutely cherished] to return to the 'real' world to provide benefits [and income] for my family.

In this time, Emma Sage has accepted these radical changes [I had never, ever been away from her] with such grace and understanding. My days are long, I leave before 8 and return after 6 but this little girl has just gone with the flow.

We now have a new change in her routine about to set forth, as Otto [my little man] was the one who would watch her for me after school until I got home. Well, my little man is growing up and in high school now and a whole world of activities and life awaits him. He is playing football at Voorhees and has informed me that he is planning on running for Freshman Class President. So my wonderful built-in babysitter is no longer available [I was a spoiled and lucky Momma to have such a great son who did this job without pay and without complaint] [although I did surprise him often with Xbox games and Itune cards.....]

I have decided to use the after school program for Emma Sage's care which is run by Camp Bernie YMCA. It is a funny coincidence because this is the same camp where Emma Sage's Daddy worked at in summers during high school and it had been owned at that time by friends of mine.

Momma's heart is heavy at putting her in aftercare, as I was the Mother who all the children whose parents had to work came to after school and I watched for them......allowing them the deliciousness of being in a loving home, with fresh baked goodies and the ability to just 'unwind' after school.........so I am sad.

On the other-hand, Emma Sage seems to be quite excited about the prospect of aftercare, so I have been finding the silver-lining in this new adventure.

I am editing photographs this afternoon and it is my hope of hopes to get back into my routine of updating here......sharing all my little imp is up too.

I will sign-off on one funny.

This is Emma Sage's new puppy [more on Rasta to follow]......well, Emma Sage absolutely adores this puppy. They are inseparable. Greta decided to take Rasta to college for a week. The first night Emma Sage cried a bit for her puppy but got over her 'missing her' quickly. The next evening I tell Emma Sage that Greta had called and that Rasta had pee'd on the chair.

Emma Sage laughs and then says "Great, my plan is working"

so I look at her and say "your plan"

and she said "yes, my plan. If Rasta is bad Greta won't want her anymore"

lol......

She seriously thought that the puppy peeing was part of her great master plan [not just because she is a young puppy and not 100% trained]

lol

Bob Marley - Redemption Song Live In Dortmund, Germany

2010-07-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

“There is no way to peace, peace is the way.”
~A. J. Muste

My Greatest Blessing in Life is becoming a Mother

2010-07-25T10:06:00.000-07:00

THE BIRTH
At 6:29am she was born.
Of course she was helpless
and frail
to the path before her, but she was also
determined and
glowing with a newfound warmth.
Her body surged with
changes that shook the
foundation of
self image she may have known.
Cries arose with a welcoming echo
where before
there were many moons of silent growth.
Safe in the newness of
shared body warmth,
she looked for the first time at the
life so attached to her own.
Relief,
joy, and
utter love
swept over her as the
soothing milk
worked relentlessly at arrival to hungry lips.
She needed not a name,
for that was something she had been granted
long ago,
during another birth
where she was the one
joining the world as an infant,
but not today.
At 6:29am a mother was born.
~By Laura Schmitt

21 years ago today, at 1:16pm, I was given the greatest blessing in my life.....At that moment I became a Mother. Twenty-one years ago today at 1:16pm, my sweet Katrina Leigh entered into our world and christened me into Motherhood. A Gift that I have been blessed to have received three more times since and a position in life ~ that truly defines who I am....I am a Mother.

Katrina Leigh,,,,,who is away today partying in New York City with her sister and friends is spending this special day away from home,,,,but, while it may seem sad, it actually is glorious because I have done my job well.....my oldest daughter [and her sister Greta] have their wings spread wide and are flying.

Here are a few pictures from her scrapbook that I just wanted to share. I so wish we had the technology for digital photographs 21 years ago, because many of my pictures of my first precious baby are on Polaroid film that darkens as the years go by, and I was not able to afford film and developing on large scale back then.....but these images are very precious to me....because it reminds me how innocent we both were back then.....both learning as we went forward through life as Mother and Daughter.

Happy 21st Birthday!!!

....Moments after her birth and my birth of Motherhood

On her First birthday, with my Beloved Mother.....she loved birthday crowns from the get-go

My Birthday girl...

and she still loves Birthday Crowns at 21!!!!

Please come Vote for Camp PALS

2010-07-06T18:02:00.001-07:00

My Passion for Photography

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is growing my leaps and bounds. It is now slipping over from behind the lens to at the computer working magic with Textures and Action.

Pop on over to this blog to see what I am so excited about and you too can join in on the passion:

Soulographer

......I am inspired!!!

My heart is calling me to adopt again.........need to find a way.

2010-06-22T20:39:00.001-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

.....how do you say 'Thank you'

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to an amazing group of people who have gone above and beyond the requirements of their job and embraced your child and allowed them to grow and blossom into their fullest potential?

Emma Sage is just about to finish up her 2nd grade year.......fully included in a co-teaching classroom with two amazing teachers and the classroom has one incredible aide, who all see each child for the unique individual they are and give them the tools to reach for the stars.

So I put together the following 'Thank you' gift for each one.

A Tote-bag that is hand-painted with tulips to symbolize 'Down syndrome' and the "Welcome to Holland" reference [along with the essay tucked inside]

Inside the following tote-bag is:

....a Sadoku book with the sentiment 'Thank you for helping me with math'

.....a box of note cards with 'Thank you for letting me express myself'

.....a box of tea with the thoughts 'Thank you for your patience and nurturing and being a part of my life'

.....a candle with the sentiment 'Thank you for letting me shine'

.......a gift certificate for the Califon Book Shop with the thoughts 'Thank you for encouraging my love of books'

....sunscreen with the thoughts 'Thank you for keeping me safe'

.......a bag of sunflower seeds with the sentiment 'Thank you for recognizing my potential'

.....a gift certificate to the Long Valley Pub and Brewery with the thoughts 'Thank you for Celebrating my accomplishments with me'

and there you have it.......

The best way I could come up with for saying 'Thank you' to such an incredible group of educators!

My Sweet Girl is Nine Years Old

2010-05-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe my little girl is Nine Years Old. It seems like yesterday I found out I was carrying her little soul in my womb.

At that time, I could not imagine how my life journey would be so Richly Blessed........how many incredible people and experiences would enter into our lives because of an extra chromosome.

Her Birth was one of the most Magical and Precious moments in my life, because her unplanned birth gave me a gift I had only dreamed of......of delivering my own child ~ myself.

This child truly fills our days with laughter and joy. Yes, there are tears and frustrations at times, but on a whole, it truly is amazing how much happiness she radiates.

Her birth story is here, if you would like to read how this little imp entered into our lives and forever changed this Momma's heart and soul.

Happy 9th Birthday my Sweet Emma Sage ~ we love you dearly!

Emma Sage was very concerned that it be 'Mother's Day' first and then her birthday. I always decorate the house with balloons and steamers to help make the children's birthday Magical...so yesterday I hear her come down to make me breakfast in bed and she 'gasps' and says "Wow, it really is my birthday too!" [how cute is that?]

To My Soul-Sisters ~ Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

To You, My Sisters
© Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters."

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs. Some of our children ungergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy. We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars

2010-05-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

My little girl loves to sing this song to me, and how fitting it was part of our Mass this morning.....as well as the baptism of a precious little girl named Olivia. Emma Sage just radiated love when she was talking to me during the service and went over to say 'peace be with you' to our newest member of our Church community.

Lately, I have become a bit overwhelmed with life.....just too many things to do and not enough time. But this little Imp of mind seems to always find a way to bring me to a sense of peace and balance.

She has me stop to smell the flowers.....she takes her time walking through the garden center [as I am on a mission to get the things on my list so I can get home in the gardens and plant] but there she is, taking her time, touching the foliage, smelling the flowers, asking me "What is this plant called?"

Yesterday she stops and picks a petunia.....she gets down on her knee and hands it to me and then kisses my hand. I ask "are you pretending to ask me to marry you?" [like her beau Ryan did in Boston [click here to see the proposal] and she says "NO......I just wanted to tell you I love you and to show you how beautiful the color purple it is on the inside" Sure enough, the flower was the most exquisite color purple......but in my hurrying to just 'buy' what I had come in for, I have walked right by......noticing the purple flowers, but not really 'LOOKING' at the incredible hue of purple.

Thank you my sweet Sage........you have taught your Momma well.

"Katrina, I have three words for you"

2010-04-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

"Katrina, I have three words for you" my little imp says to her big sister with the most sincere look on her face.

Katrina responds "And what are they?"

"Rice Krispy Treats" Emma Sage says with the utmost seriousness

so Katrina turns to her and waits........and waits. Nothing.

So she says "and the meaning of this?" thinking that she has some wise, profound comment to make.

Emma Sage looks at her and say "Nothing, they are just words."

lol!!!!

So you think Momma should make another batch of those marshmellowy treats?

~Happy Birthday Mommy~

2010-04-15T04:12:00.000-07:00

Today is my dear Mother's Birthday......she would have been 68 years old.

I can not believe it has been three an a half years since you left your earthly bounds......and how much it aches to not have your physical presence here.

I miss you Mommy.........and I love you, oh so, very very much!

Happy, Happy Birthday Mommy, I can't seem to stop crying today. We all miss you so dearly.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

an Emma Sage funny ~~~~

2010-03-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday night I had poured a glass of wine. I was busy getting ready to go out and left it on the counter.

A little while goes by and I head into the kitchen to take a sip of wine. As soon as I sipped, I literally spit the wine out into the sink. I look over at the 3/4 full bottle and then kinda of glance into the dining room where Rick was and think to myself [I sure hope he isn't trying to poison me] I dump the goblet of wine out and then just dump the rest of the bottle. It takes me a while to finish a bottle of wine and I have one of those wine stoppers that you pump the air out to keep the wine fresh and I just figured the wine went sour/bad.

Last night Daddy called to talk to Emma Sage and asks me how my wine was the other night? I laugh and said 'why, you trying to poison me' and he laughs and says "no, but the other other I caught out of the side of my eye Emma Sage over near the counter and she had the salt shaker".

I turn to Emma Sage and say "Emma Sage, did you put salt in my wine?"

She looks up at me with those sweet, innocent eyes and says "NO" and then quickly looks away [a tell-tale sign of a fib]

and then I say "Emma Sage" in a little bit of a stern/questioning voice. To which she replies:

"OK, I did it.......I just wanted to make your wine taste better!"

LOL!!!!

So sadly, I come to learn that I should have sampled the whole bottle, because I was quick to waste perfectly good wine!

Right me up.............

2010-03-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Joy, sorrow, tears, lamentation, laughter -- to all these music gives voice, but in such a way that we are transported from the world of unrest to a world of peace, and see reality in a new way, as if we were sitting by a mountain lake and contemplating hills and woods and clouds in the tranquil and fathomless water" - Albert Schweitzer

Sunday is March 21st.....it is also World Down syndrome Awareness Day.

If you have time....watch this video and listen to the words. Look with your heart and soul at the world you live in......realize that people that you might glance past, are living and loving life the same as you.... See More

Broaden your horizons.......

Celebrate!

Oh how divine.....

2010-03-15T16:04:00.001-07:00

Pop on over to Simply me to see an incredible give away, that I would be tickled pink to win.......

Simply me

Working it out through song.....

2010-03-07T12:01:00.000-08:00

My whole life, music has always played an important part. When Emma Sage was first born, I noticed that if I played various pieces of music, she responded differently, and began to incorporate music into all of our 'therapy' [you might recall, but I provided all of Emma Sage's therapies at home or in programs in the general population [we were opted out of EI]....music, dance and movement.

So, as I have been working through somethings in my own life, I turn once again to music to help sooth my soul and clear my mind.

Emma Sage is more than happy to assist Momma in singing and dancing.

Of late, I have fallen in love with this performer......and I'm thinking I have a new 'favorite'

2010-02-14T18:05:00.001-08:00

On My Soap Box.....

2010-02-10T16:20:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine wrote so eloquently about how I feel about what is going on in the 'political' arena......please read: On My Soap Box

and then please read this blog post......

The Unknown Contributor - It wasn't meant that way......

A Must Read........Nella Cordelia

2010-02-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

Find a quiet moment, and sit and read this beautiful birth story, of a very precious girl named Nella Cordelia......I promise, it will touch your soul so deeply.

Welcome To Our World Sweet Nella Cordelia

Treasure her......

2010-02-03T18:02:00.000-08:00

Since Otto was a little boy, we would stop every morning after we dropped his big sisters off to school at our local coffee shop to visit with the 'Gentlemen' as Otto called the group of older men who meet every morning at the coffee shop at 9am to have coffee and share years of friendship ~of growing up, having families and living in our small community. Otto would sit with the men and they just adored him. During the time of my pregnancy with Emma Sage, this group of men and I would talk about the possibility of her having Down syndrome. This group of older men were very wise and we still enjoy our visits, but these days it is on Saturdays, since Otto is at school weekdays at 9am and his little baby sister now sits at the table with the 'Gentlemen' and chats. At one of our morning visits, Jon, one of the younger of the men and still gainfully employed and not retired [worked the night shift and would visit with the guys before heading home to bed] gave me a book. I shared books recommended by this group through the years and figured this was just the same. The beginning of the book, I assumed Jon recommended it because it was about the Catholic Church and a Pope, reflecting on my religious being, but when I came upon the following passage, I realized the main reason Jon gave me this book was about my precious baby-to-be growing deep within my womb.

The book is called *The Clowns of God* by Morris West.

In the book, a deposed pope has gone through many trials and tribulations and it is the time of the Second Coming. When he meets the Returned Christ, the former pope is afraid and unsure much like the apostles where when Christ first arose from death. This passage takes place in a mountain hideaway where children from a school for Down syndrome are among those present. The Returned Christ is speaking about one of these children as he holds her.

"I know what you are thinking. You need a sign. What better one could I give but to make this little one whole and new? I could do it; but I will not. I am the Lord and not a conjurer. I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you--eternal innocence. To you she looks imperfect--but to me she is flawless, like the bud that dies unopened or the fledgling that falls from the nest to be devoured by ants. She will never offend me, as all of you have done. She will never pervert or destroy the work of my Father's hands. She is necessary to you. She will evoke the kindness that will keep you human. Her infirmity will prompt you to gratitude for your own good fortune..... More! She will remind you every day that I am who I am, that my ways are not yours, and that the smallest dust mite whirled in the darkest spaces does not fall out of my hand........ I have chosen you. You have not chosen me. This little one is my sign to you. Treasure her!"

I share this after spending the day yesterday with family and friends, celebrating the Christening of my Niece, Charlotte Kathleen ~ My GODdaughter....of the promise that was given to us on this day....

I treasure Emma Sage....just as a treasure all of my children, my GODdaughter, Charlotte and all of my nieces and nephews. They are a blessing......I did not choose them, God chose them for me,,,,,,,,and I am forever thankful.

I treasure you little girl....

My Cup Runneth Over

2010-01-19T04:39:00.000-08:00

As you all are aware, this Mommas heart and soul has been captured by a mission. While I know that there are so many important and critical missions in our world, if each of us hears GOD's calling in our hearts, we will be lead to where we can best be of service to others.

Adoption and more specifically, Adoption of children whom society seems to easily cast aside........children with special needs ~ is the calling that GOD has placed in my heart and soul.

Before Christmas I shared with you all my 'Christmas Wish'......to raise awareness about Reece's Rainbow and more specifically to sponsor a child in hopes that either our family or another family could find the way to adopt her.

Sweet Nadine has found her forever family. Please join me in celebrating this precious gift and if you can contribute to the grant fund for her adoption, that would be wonderful......or send her new family comments of love at the blog they have set up to celebrate her adoption journey....

Seeing the Up Side of Down~

Also, three sites to visit regarding adoption: Holt International [Haiti adoption assistance which is of urgent need right now], Reece's Rainbow and Wednesday's Child

2010-01-17T08:56:00.001-08:00

Grab This Button

Hugs-o-War

2010-01-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

“I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.” ~Shel Silverstein

Lately, Emma Sage has been real into Shel Silverstein [Makes this Momma's heart soar, as I adore reading the incredible poetry of Shel Silverstein] and she is now at a reading level where she can pick up his books and read his poems with realitive ease.

2010-01-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

"The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself." ~Anais Nin

Happy Birthday......

2009-12-29T05:50:00.000-08:00

Sweet Brother........

Today you would have been 45 years old.......and I still try to play it all through my head ~ never fully understanding.

I drove by the resovior this morning and the sun rising over it was spectacular, making me miss you even more ~ the clouds floating in a pink sky, with grays and whites reflecting the sunshine, like you were smiling down from Heaven saying "It is all right"

I miss you dearly Kenny..........Rest in Peace Sweet Brother.

Lyrics to How To Save A Life :
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

2009-12-27T17:12:00.000-08:00

The greatest gift is a passion for reading.”

- Elizabeth Hardwick

A Christmas Prayer

2009-12-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Silent night! Holy night!
All's asleep, one sole light,
Just the faithful and holy pair,
Lovely boy-child with curly hair
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Sleep in heavenly peace

As I was surrounded yesterday by family and friends, celebrating the Gifts of Christmas, I kept finding myself singing my most favorite Christmas Carol ~ Silent Night

As I returned from a day away from the computer ~ I first journeyed to Reece's Rainbow, as my heart and soul have such a calling to help these children who are awaiting their forever families.....the only reason they are orphans is because they are deemed less than perfect by the society they live in.

My joyous heart was quickly saddened to read of the passing of a beautiful soul - a man who has been called to the same journey of welcoming these precious children into his own heart and home and to raising awareness and opportunities for other families to find the way to adopt.

As you move through the next few days, I ask this one last Christmas Wish of you......to say a prayer for Derek Loux's family and friends, as they lay to rest their beloved husband, father, son, brother and friend................and to read this message of Redemption by Derek Loux posted on The Sumbo Family Story Blog.

Redemption by Derek Leux
Friday, December 12,
2008

Renee' and I are sitting in the office of a telephone company in
Novograd Valenski, Ukraine, using wireless internet. We are in the middle of
adopting three special needs boys from an orphanage here. Two of the boys have
Down Syndrome. Roman is high functioning, energetic and happy. Dimitri has
serious mental retardation, failure to thrive, and though he is five years old,
he is the size of a 1 year old. He has sores on his face, a distinct smell of
death on him, and yells out if we try to do anything with him other than hold
him. Because he has less ability to respond and learn, he naturally gets less
attention and care from the orphanage workers in this world of limited
resources. The harsh reality of the "survival of the fittest" principle is a
life and death struggle that this little boy is losing fast. Our third boy
Sasha, is a brilliant six year old who has Spina Bifida (the condition our son
Josiah died from in 1996). He is like a learning sponge that can't get enough!
He is happy and alert and thirsty for knowledge and experience. So with two of
our boys, we get an immediate return on any investment we make. With Dimitri,
there's not much immediate gratification. In fact, it's unknown when and if
there will be a return at all. This is the kind of situation that makes the
carnal, fallen, human reasoning think, "Why try? What's the point? What will
this produce? What good will this do? Why not select a boy who has more
potential? This looks like a lost cause.

Two days ago we drove for hours
into the Ukrainian countryside to the village where Dimitri was born. We met
with officials there and signed papers and answered their questions. We also
went and saw Dimitri's house. The day had been long, we were still recovering
from jet lag, I was beginning to really miss my six daughters at home and all
the familiar things our fragile human hearts entangle themselves with in feeble
attempts to feel secure. Sitting in the dark on our very long drive back to
Novograd that night, the Holy Spirit began to whisper to my heart, and new
understanding about redemption began to take shape.

I was thinking,
"Man, adopting this little boy has been so much work. This is exhausting,
expensive, uncomfortable… and it doesn't feel very rewarding right now." What am
I doing in some little Soviet car in the dark, in the middle of rural Ukraine in
frozen December, as the driver dodges cats and potholes? What if Dimitri doesn't
improve at all? What if we get "nothing" out of this? Ahhh, there it was; that
dark, fallen, unreedemed, selfish human love, rooted in the tree of the
knowledge of "good and evil". The love the Greeks called "erao" love. The love
where we treat someone as precious and treasured for what we can get out of it.
This is unlike "agapeo" love, the God kind of love that treats someone as
treasured and precious for their good, not for my good. It's when I love a
person in order to meet their needs, having no expectation of them meeting any
of my needs. At a whole new level, God is working His kind of love into my weak
heart, and He's using little Dimitri to do it.

On the drive home that
night, the Lord whispered in my ear, "This is Redemption. Derek, do you know how
far I travelled to get you and bring you back? I had to be separated from my
Son, in order to get you, just like you are separated from your children in
order to get these boys. Do you know how expensive it was for Me to purchase
you? It cost me everything. Do you know how broken, sick, damaged, twisted,
dirty, smelly, and hopeless you were? And at the end of it all, you had nothing
to give me or add to me. I did it for you. I emptied myself and became nothing
so that you could have it all. This is redemption.

My friends, adoption
is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back
lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He
redeems us, we can't even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like Dimitri
will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him… but…
he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to
understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the
benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This
is how our heavenly "Papa" feels towards us.

Today, settle your busy
heart down and rest in the benefits of redemption. Enjoy the fruits of His
goodness, and stop trying to "pay Him back". You'll never get close you goofy
little kid.

You can visit their family blog Here

~Remembering~

2009-12-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus

Rest in Peace my dear friend......Rest in Peace

A Wish Come True

2009-12-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

As you all know ~ from my post below~ my Christmas Wish this year is for family and friends to donate to Reece's Rainbow Angel Christmas Tree fund that helps with the grant funds for precious children with Down syndrome who are waiting to find their forever homes.

A dear friend and her beautiful family have been called to not only donate to the Angel Tree fund, but to open their hearts and home and adopt one of the waiting Angels.

Please visit this blog and follow the magical journey that is just beginning ~ Loving Alina

and a very special aspect of this adoption is that Alina is in the same orphanage as my sweet girl, Nadine ~ which means Full of Hope/Hopeful.

If you can make a donation to Alina or Nadine's grant funds, you would make this Momma's heart quiet a bit ~ knowing that two little Angels ~ who are together many thousands of miles away from here, have a chance at life.

What a glorious Christmas Gift that is ~ Life!!!!!!!!

My Christmas Wish

2009-12-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

This

This precious Angel is my Christmas Wish.........I so want to adopt this little girl, My heart has already adopted her, but sadly the best thing I can do is raise awareness to the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree Project and ask for donations to her fund to help her future Forever Family gain the ability to travel and adopt her. Her name is Nadine and she is truly a precious Angel.

Click here to visit Nadine's page or the pages of all the other precious little ones waiting for their forever families to find them and welcome them into their hearts and homes.

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree Project.

31 for 21

2009-10-29T18:08:00.001-07:00

I started this blog about our journey with our daughter, Emma Sage, six years ago as a way of sharing with the world the 'Normalcy of Difference'

Emma Sage is now eight years old and is an amazing little girl. Her life journey has been filled with so many exciting adventures. She loves life and is not shy about living it to the fullest.

For us, Down syndrome has been a different journey, but one that has been embraced and celebrated and one that I would not change for the world, even if I had the opportunity to do so.

Emma Sage has a way of touching people’s lives……and that I believe is one of her greatest gifts.

I get e-mails and notes, that bring me such great joy.......from parents who have found their way to this blog and by doing so, it has given them a special gift, a glimpse in my daughters life, which is a life well lived......because it is her life and we are here to love her, nurture her and celebrate her for exactly who she is. These notes and e-mails are the reason I blog, as when I first was alerted to the fact that my baby might have Down syndrome, I wanted a 'glimpse' and at that time, the Internet was new and there were not many family blogs/websites out there that focused on their child with Down syndrome. I had found a wonderful online community at ParentsPlace, but there were really not any other communities out there....slowly that began to change.

One website that I found, and visited again and again, was the site of my dear friend Betsy. Betsy has a wisdom about life that is so powerful and beautiful. Her daughter Paige is a beautiful little girl who is loved dearly.

So, as I finish up this months celebration of Trisomy 21 [aka. Down syndrome] I wanted to say 'Thank you' ......to all the Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends....I have met along this journey.

I want to thank Barbara Patton, who through sharing the love she had for her little brother, my first real 'glimpse' into Down syndrome. I want to thank the producers of 'Life Goes On' for producing a mainstream TV show staring a young actor with Down syndrome and a wonderful 'glimpse'....I want to thank Nicole, who was the first person to reach out to me when I posted a question about 'nuchal translucency' and for sharing your precious daughter with me and giving me a 'glimpse' and I want to thank all the people who are now blogging and journaling about Down syndrome, as I believe, this is the greatest way to advocate and celebrate.

Happy Down syndrome Awareness Month...........may the awareness last all year

31 for 21 - Pure Joy

2009-10-27T19:39:00.000-07:00

Pure Joy…….

I'm not a wordsmith or writer by any stretch of the imagination. I journal about my life journey raising my children, more specifically in this blog, about my youngest daughter who was born sporting an extra chromosome on her 21st pair.

I find that photographs are the best way for me to help tell part of our story, as a photograph says a thousand words……..and these ones that I took the other day show the expression of 'Pure Joy' that Emma Sage exhibits daily.

Last night, after dropping Otto off at Boy Scouts we had one of those moments that just radiated her joy…..her pure joy of life.

Emma Sage is very independent and she likes to do things herself……and of course I oblige, as raising strong, confident and independent children is part of my focus as a mother [it is in the job description so I have read]. She wanted to stop and get 'nick-nacks'…..orange ones. [ie Tick-Tacks] so we stopped at the pharmacy and Emma Sage grasped her money tightly in her hand and headed into the store on her own [we are able to park so we can watch her every move] .

She gathered up her 'nick-nacks' and something else we could not tell and paid for her purchase, chatting away with the clerks and then headed back out to us waiting in the car. She skipped out, smiling from ear-to-ear and brought her purchases to the car. A pack of gum for her sister "It is your favorite kind" she says……and a quick little 'shake' of her 'nick-nacks' and the giggle and smile that just melts your heart.

Pure Joy……..the only words perfect enough to describe a moment in the life of my little girl.

Post Cards for Emma Sage

2009-10-24T18:23:00.001-07:00

Postcards for Emma Sage: Can you help my daughter collect a postcard from every state?

We have gotten cards from a few states & Countries [Thank you SO much!!!] but we are hoping to get all 50 states.

Emma Sage is fully included in her 2nd grade class and they are trying to get postcards from all the states [and other countries ~ The Philippines ~ Thank you Cheche!] as they are working on a geography lesson [and maps]. I would love for her to have a collection of all 50 states. Can you spread the word to family & friends who might like to help out.

The postcards should be sent to:

Emma Sage Hintz
212 Maple Lane
Califon, NJ 07830

The states we are missing are:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas Colorado Delaware Georgia Hawaii Idaho
Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland
Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi
Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New York
North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma
Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Utah
Vermont Virginia West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming

Thank you so very much!!!

She got an envelope today from Washington, D.C. [with a postcard in it from Washington State} from the House of Representatives!!!! Thank you Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers!!!!

31 for 21 ~ Camp PALS

2009-10-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

Camp PALS is a 1-week summer camp for teenagers and young adults with Down syndrome held at Cabrini College in Radnor, PA. Campers and volunteer counselors room together for the week in dormitories at the college.

My Katrina is now a head counselor and my Greta is a counselor. Both girls will attest to the fact that this is one of the greatest highlights of their year. While they come away from the week exhausted.........they also come away each years saying that it was the best experience ever......year after year.

A few weeks ago, Katrina brought Emma Sage with her to Princeton University to meet up with other campers and counselors from Camp PALS as they were trying to have Camp PAL 'reunions' throughout they county.

Of coarse Emma Sage had the best time hanging out with the campers and counselors [have I ever mentioned that this kid thinks she is a teenager?

Jenni Newbury, one of the founding Directors adores Emma Sage and told her that she can be a Mascot this year and come to camp on Friday afternoon and spend the night and I'll join them for closing ceremonies.

Well, a few days later, Katrina was trying to 'bribe' her sister into doing something she wanted her to do [like go get her a glass of O.J. or something] and she wasn't getting her little 'slave' to cooperate, so she said "Well, then you CAN'T go to Camp PALS" to which Emma Sage replied "Yes, I CAN, Jenni BLUEBERRY, said I could"

bawhhahahahahahhaha........

I guess Emma Sage told her sister 'what's what', and I love how she remembered her last name sounded like a 'berry'........

You have to check out Camp PALS.......and their blog too!!!!

2009-10-19T15:32:00.003-07:00

31 for 21..........Siblings

2009-10-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I realize that I have not been 'writing' much about living and loving life with Emma Sage. So what is my excuse? Really, nothing, but everything.

Life has been busy, very, very busy.....and this Momma tends to file away all the photographs that I take daily [and let me tell you, the bandwidth for my .jpeg files is quite large] and say "I'll get to them later....I'll sit and post later." Well, later comes and this tired Momma is snuggled in bed before 9pm these days; as 6am rolls around way faster than it did when I was younger.

Yes, I'm getting old and not able to keep up with everything as well as I did in my younger days. This whole 40-something, 4 children, a house, a spouse [who looking for a job, ie. extra work for me assisting in this whole process] 3 dogs, 3 cats and lots of activities.....Oh, yeah, and I forgot, a job outside the home that now has me away from my beloved little cottage over 10 hours a day.

So ~ 9pm is bedtime and this blog has been neglected.

Good news is: this is the only thing being neglected!

But I realize every night, after Emma Sage is finished her homework, squeaky-clean from her bath and cuddling with me after her big pile of books and she begins to tell me stories of her days, of her adventures, of her likes and dislikes.....of her dreams!!!! I realize all the funny and delightful conversations that we have and that I really must be writing down and sharing on her blog [as this is her journal of her life] and as history has shown us all.......time has a way of letting us forget, especially the delightful and wonderful details of childhood.

So here is a little gem to share.

Emma Sage has found her siblings 'All About Me' books that they each made in 1st grade. She loves to read them and re-read them. She also has one that she made about herself........these are cute little books that the curriculum has included that each child is interviewed during their 'Star of the Week' and then their classmates write and illustrate a facet of their classmate. The books are then laminated and spiral bound. One of my favorite treasures of the kids school journey.

Well, this morning, Katrina is getting ready for work. She walks in on Emma Sage and I in the bathroom doing her hair and says "How does this outfit look?" and continues "My favorite color is black"......so I smile and say it is an adorable outfit [it was, cute and trendy and since she is managing the girls clothing store Justice....perfect for work].

Emma Sage on the other hand, stops completely what we are doing and says - very sternly "Black is NOT your favourite color, wait right here, I'm going to get Katrina's book"....she walks into the TV and Katrina and I start to giggle, as we realize what she meant......she gets out Katrina's 1st grade book and opens to the page that says "Katrina's favorite color is purple" and comes back into us to prove that she is write and that Katrina is wrong!!! hahahahahahaha

We laughed so hard!!!

Thank you Emma Sage for setting your sister right!!!!!

31 for 21 .....He is Ulysses, not Down syndrome

2009-10-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

He is Ulysses, not Down Syndrome by Desiree Lowit.

Submitted by Jennifer on Wed, 03/02/2005 - 6:00am
Posted in POVReal LifeSpring '05

My son was born when I was 22 years old. He was conceived during one freezing winter in Lake Tahoe, CA.

When I discovered I was pregnant, my immediate reaction was that I was too young to have a baby and that I should have an abortion. When I spoke with Ethan, my boyfriend at the time and father-to-be, he did not share my concerns and thought having a baby was a great idea. Looking in a mirror, admiring my new, baby-full appearance, I considered what he said and immediately fell in love with our unborn child.

I got a great job as a waitress. I spent the entire summer eating healthy, taking my vitamins, practicing pre-natal yoga, hiking several miles every day, swimming in the lake, resting, reading and listening to beautiful music.

2009-10-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

My two little Witches.......

31 for 21.....-Mom come quick-

2009-10-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

Those were the words I heard last year as Greta and Emma Sage were watching 'So you think you can Dance?'.......of coarse as a Mother your first response to a scream like this ~ with such urgency ~ is to painic and pray nothing is terribly wrong as you go running towards the voice calling.

and here is what I saw:

I was hoping someone put it up on YouTube.....

and Emma Sage, my little dancer was dancing away, getting ready for the day when she auditions and Greta was sitting with the widest grin across her face and me, I cried.....tears of joy and happiness to see this young man on national TV.

How cool is this!?!

31 for 21 - Can-Do Abilities

2009-10-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Creekside Cookies & More

Simply Adorable Blankets

31 for 21 - Reece's Rainbow

2009-10-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

The primary goals of Reece's Rainbow is:

To raise awareness regarding the plight of children with Down syndrome in foreign orphanages and their availability to be adopted

To raise adoption grant donations for each of our waiting children

To seek new adoptive families for orphans with Down syndrome internationally

To provide adoptive families with additional fundraising opportunities.

To fund humanitarian aid opportunities and improve the quality of life of our children waiting to be adopted

To fund educational and therapeutic opportunities for orphaned children with Down syndrome living in foreign orphanages

To fund and facilitate the development of new Down syndrome birth parent support groups in foreign countries, thereby decreasing the number of children placed in orphanages

To enact social change abroad about children with Down syndrome and other special needs through the testimony of adoption

Grab Button

I know all of our pocketbooks are stretched thin these days, and my hope of hope at one point in my life journey, was to adopt another child with T21, but as I have aged. my dreams of adopting in our family fades a bit....BUT the one thing I can do, is give little bits to a waiting child's fund, so that when their forever family comes along, the cost of adoption is offset by Reece's Rainbows sponsorship fund.

Think about sponsoring a child that is waiting for a forever home this holiday season and get a beautiful ornament to hang on your tree to remind you of the gift of life!

If you have a moment: Visit this blog~
Newbold Family Adoption
as it is one of the sweetest tributes to Down syndrome and the power of love, faith and prayer. A precious angel named Chloe graced the Newbold's life, only to be taken from them so quickly.....but Chloe gave a great gift in her short life, a love and understanding to her parents who loved her so dearly, to adopt two orphans, John Paul and Dasha. I promise you, you will leave this blog with a heart that has swollen in size from reading about the gift of Down syndrome in a families life.

31 for 21......Welcome to Holland

2009-10-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Holland
Emily Perl Kingsley 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

31 for 21

2009-10-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

Football Legend Would Pick His Down Syndrome Son Over ‘Normal’ Child
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
By Penny Starr, Senior Staff Writer

Coach Gene Stallings and his son Johnny – Legendary football coach Gene Stallings made history as the youngest college coach at the helm of his alma mater, Texas A&M, and a perfect 12-0 season during his reign at the University of Alabama. But he says raising his son Johnny was his greatest reward.

“My life wouldn’t have been nearly as rich without Johnny, no question about it,” Stallings told CNSNews.com of his son, who was born with Down syndrome in 1962.

Johnny outlived his doctors’ prediction that he wouldn’t live past the age of two because of heart problems, and when he died at 46 on Aug. 2, the accolades poured in.

Click here to read the rest of the story.........

I agree with Coach Stallings.......while my life has been an amazing journey, and all of my children are the jewels of my life, I know that Emma Sage has added a facet, a sparkle that radiates in all of our hearts and I know I am a richer Mother, Woman and Human Being because of her.

31 for 21 - Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-07T16:05:00.001-07:00

Oh, how I love this child of mine....................

Gnome Wisdom

2009-10-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

As those who visit our blog have learned by now, we are very Blessed to live in a little Hamlet not too far from the big city [both New York City and Philadelphia]. Rick grew up a mile up the lane from our home, and I lived 10 minutes away. It truly is a hidden treasure on earth.

The Columbia Trail that we walk regularly on, is also the home of Gnomes. It has been such a treat through the years to find new homes scattered along the trail. One of Emma Sage's favorite things to do when we are out walking is to stop a moment and 'look and listen'.

Well, Jerome the Gnome has come out of hiding in the forest and shares is Gnome Wisdom with us all. Last week we got to meet Jerome at our local book shop and take a little 'Gnome' walk. I have many pictures to share of our outing, but alas, my time is pressed. It is 8:21 pm and this Momma has miles and miles to go before she sleeps.

I leave you with my little Gnome~ [can you find her hiding?]

and a link to Gnome Wisdom

31 for 21 - Michael Jurogue Johnson

2009-10-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

Michael Jurogue Johnson

The above watercolors of Emma Sage were painted by Michael Jurogue Johnson, an inspirational young man with Down syndrome, who is a wonderful painter.

Please go visit his site on the link about and visit all the galleries of his work.

If you are wondering what to do for your Christmas/Holiday cards this year, please consider purchasing some of Michael's cards, as they are just beautiful and all sales go to help him continue to purchase the supplies he needs to paint.

Christmas and Note Cards Link

I also know that if you e-mail Robin, Michael's Mother, she might have a selection of a box set of Holiday cards...I had seen them in the past, but I couldn't find them scrolling through last night [life has been so very busy, I have had no time to even stop and 'think', but I know they were there in the past]

P.S. aren't those paintings of Emma Sage just wonderful!!!! I look at them an marvel at Michael's talent.

2009-10-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

31 for 21 - Mosaic Down syndrome

2009-10-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

There are three classifications of Trisomy 21 [Down syndrome] ~

Nondisjunction - If a sperm or egg with an abnormal number of chromosomes merges with a normal mate, the resulting fertilized egg will have an abnormal number of chromosomes. In Down syndrome, 95% of all cases are caused by this event: one cell has two 21st chromosomes instead of one, so the resulting fertilized egg has three 21st chromosomes.

Robertsonian Translocation- Three to four percent of all cases of trisomy 21 are due to Robertsonian Translocation. In this case, two breaks occur in separate chromosomes, usually the 14th and 21st chromosomes. There is rearrangement of the genetic material so that some of the 14th chromosome is replaced by extra 21st chromosome. So while the number of chromosomes remain normal, there is a triplication of the 21st chromosome material. Some of these children may only have triplication of part of the 21st chromosome instead of the whole chromosome, which is called a partial trisomy 21. Translocations resulting in trisomy 21 may be inherited, so it's important to check the chromosomes of the parents in these cases to see if either may be a "carrier."

The remainder of cases of trisomy 21 are due to mosaicism: Mosaic Down syndrome happens when a person has a percentage of cells with an extra 21st chromosome and the remaining cells are unaffected. This type of Down syndrome accounts for about 2%-4% of the cases of Down syndrome.

Emma Sage has Mosaic Down syndrome.

What is Mosaicism?
from Dr. Len Leshin, MD, FAAP
Every cell in the human body comes from one initial cell: the fertilized egg, which is also called the zygote. After fertilization, the zygote then proceeds to divide. As new cells form, the chromosomes duplicate themselves so that the resulting cells have the same number of chromosomes as the original cell. However, mistakes sometimes happen and one cell ends up with a different number of chromosomes. From then on, all cells originating from that cell will have the different chromosomal number, unless another mistake happens. (All like cells originating from a single type of cell is called a cell line; for example, the skin cell line, the blood cell line, the brain cell line, etc.)
When a person has more than one type of chromosomal makeup, that is called mosaicism, like the mosaic style of art in which a picture is made up of different colors of tiles. In Down syndrome, mosaicism means that some cells of the body have trisomy 21, and some have the typical number of chromosomes.

Two very good resources regarding Mosaic Down syndrome are the International Mosiac Down syndrome Assocation and Mosaic Moments.

31 for 21 - Violets and Daisies

2009-10-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." ~Buddha

Indulge me for a moment, and imagine yourself to be a violet growing smack dab in the middle of a beautiful bed of daisies -- and all of your (short) life, the multitude of daisies surrounding you seem frustrated that you are different. They try endlessly, and to the best of their abilities to turn your into a daisy, despite the fact that you, while very similar in many ways, are also very different than the other flowers who share your life. Would it serve you to try to be a daisy when it is clearly true that you aren't one, and never will be? How would it feel when the well-intentioned daisies around you continually insist that you look and act more like a daisy than the violet that you truly are? And, have you ever picked a violet and suddenly found yourself wishing that it were a daisy instead? Wouldn't you be glad of its' violetness, and that be sufficient, or rather exquisite, in and of itself? Is it any different with people?

I imagine, dear teacher, your mind is now thinking, well, this world is predominantly of, for and by the daisies. And true, you have generously and with much self-sacrifice spent a good deal of your time patiently teaching the violet a few daisy tricks, so that she can function effectively in the daisy bed. After all, she is growing there. And my point is, that if she has to deny her essence as a violet, there is no value at all in learning daisy skills. If daisy skills, however are optional, and she can be accepted as the violet that she is, she will gracefully and sweetly unfold into the fullness of her beauty, warmed by the sun, and nurtured by the trust and open-heartedness of her surrounding daisies.

**Violets, beloved friend and teacher, are NOT impaired daisies.**

Excerpt from: VIOLETS and DAISIES by Kay Drais

31 for 21

2009-10-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

“Any time a thought, a sentence, or paragraph inspires you, or opens up your thinking, you need to capture it like a butterfly in a net, and later, release it into your own field of consciousness.”-Steve Chandler

31 for 21 - Our Beginning

2009-10-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

The story of Emma Sage
Conceived one year to the day of our miscarriage, Emma Sage is our fifth child. Before that moment, I never fully understood the power of ones soul. It was a warm August night and the moon was full. Suddenly, I arose from a deep sleep, overcome by the most incredible sensation. As I, succumbed to a feeling of total peace, her tiny soul entered my body. I knew immediately that I was pregnant. I placed my hands just over my uterus and asked God for this baby to stay, as I looked up at the stars dancing in the moonlight through our skylight thinking about what just happened.

About ten days later, a home pregnancy test confirmed my belief. There would be three more tests, just to be sure. After losing our last child, I was anxious and just a bit nervous, so I asked my midwife to check my HCG levels. A result consistent with the current stage of pregnancy calmed those fears.

It was about this time I began dreaming about a perfect little girl who resembled a china doll. She was so beautiful. Subsequent dreams included a labor and delivery on the side of the road. It would be a reoccurring theme, a series of dreams, where her labor and birth happened everywhere. My sister, a labor and delivery nurse brought me a cord clamp and told me to keep it with me, just in case there was a need, as she laughed about all of my stories.

We had no idea that clamp would be used.

We took a family vacation to Florida at about eight weeks. It was during this trip that another powerful sensation overcame me. As we waited for the Blues Brothers to begin their show, I watched a little boy dancing around. He would come up to us, smile, and then dance his way back to his parents. During the show, I could not keep my eyes off him. I looked at Rick and told him that our little one would like just like him. He had a little bit of something extra on his twenty-first pair , by way of Down syndrome. Rick put his arm around me and said, “That would be just fine”. I shared this story later with my sister , and then forgot about it.

At my thirteen-week visit, I was measuring big, so I asked my midwife if I could have an ultrasound to rule out twins, Rick agreed. I was actually still so nervous about the pregnancy that I wanted a little peek at our little one. I did not know then that this would actually be one of the worst experiences in my lifetime. As the process began, the technician was cold and seemed rather unconcerned about my comfort. During the middle of the scan, she announced, “There is something wrong with this baby” and then immediately called my midwife. I remember hearing her say, “I think we have a problem”.

Instead of having a little peek, relieving me of some stress and reassuring me this woman sent us on our way feeling scared and confused. We left there headed straight for our midwife Peggy’s office. She told us that the baby’s nuchual translucency measurement, the thickness of the skin on the neck, was abnormal. Our baby was measuring at 3.6 mm and anything over 3.5 is considered a soft marker for Down syndrome.

It was a difficult day.

Later that night Rick and I sat outside in the garage on his motorcycle and talked. I was just so scared not knowing what the future held. At one point, I asked, “what are we going to do?” His response “we are having a baby, we are not God, nor should we ever play God”. Oh how I love this man, not only is he my best friend, he also provides strength and support. An amniocentesis was not an option we did not want one. We did schedule a level II ultrasound for nineteen weeks gestation at a hospital near us.

It was the beginning of my quest to find out everything that I could about nuchual translucency, soft markers, and Down syndrome.

The time between that day and the scan at nineteen weeks proved to be an enlightening. Everyone who asked me about my pregnancy heard about the possibility that the baby might have Down syndrome and the responses I got amazed me. Some would say things like “you will be truly blessed” other would say, “What are you going to do”, but the responses that were most difficult included “Your not going to have it are you?”

We gathered the children to discuss the upcoming ultrasound and the “choices” people make based on its results. My oldest daughter Greta looked at me and said:

“So mom, if parents had a crystal ball [like the ultrasound machine] and found out that the baby they were carrying was perfect and when that baby was five it was in a horrible accident and became disabled and that they had to take care of that child for the rest of their lives, could those parents choose to terminate that baby just because they didn’t want to deal with it later on?”

Emma Sage’s tiny little soul was already teaching those around her about the true meaning of life, even before she entered the world.

My sister came with me for the level II ultrasound. She was experienced in this department, and I wanted her with so that she could keep her eyes on the scan—focusing on the baby’s heart and other major organs. The baby was free of any structural defects and the nuchual translucency was no longer an issue. There was a concern about a slightly abnormal pyelectusis. This changed my risk/ratio from 1/47 to 1/280. There would be another scan at twenty-eight weeks. The baby had no soft markers for Down syndrome at that time, but I knew in my heart already that she would be born with that extra little chromosome.

I celebrated this pregnancy. I shared the joy with everyone. The possibility of Trisomy 21 didn’t matter.

This was our baby, our perfect, beautiful baby.

My dreams continued to intensify. At least once a week I had dreamt of the baby’s unexpected birth and my sister always laughed at my stories about the unusual places the baby was born. I kept the cord clamp with me, as I kept dreaming of an angel—that I thought might have been the baby we lost reassuring me everything was going to be fine.

On my due date, I checked out “Babies with Down Syndrome” from our local library, along with a bunch of books about gardening. When my mother in law saw it she looked at me and said, “you’re not going to need this book”, I just smiled and said, “I know, it’s just in case”.

On Tuesday May 8, three days after she was due, I was helping my daughter with a science project. When it was complete, everyone headed to bed early, as Rick had to leave by 3:00 a.m. I was having a bout of indigestion, and headed down stairs to take a warm bath. After the bath, I felt better and went out to the recliner, and fell asleep. About an hour later, I woke up in pain, and took another bath. This happened three times. The next time I woke up, it was 1:00 a.m. and I thought I might have been having contractions about fifteen minutes apart. I called my sister and told her what was going on; by this time, I was in a great deal of pain. She told me to call my midwife and she would get dressed and meet me at the hospital.

I left a message for the midwife at about 1:25 a.m. and waited for her call. During this time, the contractions seemed to be coming in waves, never really ending, just continuing. When she called back, the phone woke up Rick. He jumped out of bed and dressed because he knew something was going on. I told her I was not sure that this was the start of labor, and that I felt so weird. I thought it might be possible that she would check me and send me back home, but we agreed to meet at the hospital anyway. We woke up the children and I began dressing Otto. That was when a contraction that really scared me hit. I managed to get him dressed and then began dressing myself.

As I began pulling up my overalls, I got another contraction that hit me like a ton of bricks.

I remember thinking that if this was only the beginning of labor I was not going to be able to handle what happened next. I walked down the stairs as Rick and the children were already on their way out the door. Just before I reached the bottom, I had a strong sensation to go to the bathroom. I yelled for Rick, just as I realized this baby was well on its way, and I began pulling off my clothes. “Where do I go?” I ask Rick. I thought maybe the living room or back up to bed, but Rick told me to get into the bathtub, as he throws in a bunch of clean clothes while calling 911.

I listened as he asks the children “Kids, quick, what is our address again”, it had changed from a rural route just a few years back and he couldn’t remember the new one.

All those dreams, they had a meaning, they were my preparation for Emma Sage’s birth. I didn’t know where she would arrive, but I knew it was just going to be us, and that we weren’t going to be at the hospital. Rick helped me deliver her, surrounded by our children. As I raised her to my chest, I looked at Rick and said, “Oh look honey, she does have Down syndrome!”

Her birthplace was not only unexpected, it also shared an amazing coincidence. Rick’s grandfather died, sitting on a closed toilet in this very space. It was a gateway for souls enter and leave this worldly place. To honor her great grandfather Alexander, Emma Sage was given a third name—Alexandra.

Her birth was peaceful and joyous, not overrun with medical intervention or invasion. We welcomed her into this world alone, as a family.

When the emergency team arrived the loaded us into the ambulance, and we were off to the hospital. When we arrived, my sister and midwife were there to greet me. My midwife looked at me, smiling and said, “If it is nothing you can send me home”. We laughed aloud as Emma Sage had arrived just fourteen minutes after we talked about whether or not I was in labor.

Most newborn babies go to the nursery, but not our Emma Sage. Because she was born outside of the hospital, she was considered a dirty baby and had to stay with us. I would have had it no other way, because most children with Down syndrome are quickly whisked away from their parents for precautionary medical intervention—not our Emma Sage.

We all laugh to this day about the dirty baby who was born in a bathtub. I knew right away she had Down syndrome and my midwife and sister agreed. Many doctors came to peek at her. Hypotonia made her little body weak and unable to maintain her temperature, so the brought in a warmer for us. She was a quiet sleepy little one.

I tried nursing her but she was unable to latch on. I began pumping right away, as I didn’t want them to supplement with formula. I was going to breastfeed her, as I did all of her siblings, for as long as she wanted to. Those first feedings included a syringe, until she was able to latch, but once she figured it out, she nursed like a champion.

So many other unexpected things have happened since the birth of Emma Sage, so many subtle reminders about the true meaning of life.

Emma: The one who heals.

Sage: One with great wisdom.

Emma Sage, a name that she has lived up to since the before she was born.

October is National Down syndrome Awareness Month

2009-10-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

and I am joining in the 31 for 21 ~ where I am going to write 31 blog posts in the Month of October to Celebrate my daughter Emma Sage and everyone else who was born sporting a little extra [chromosome that is] on their 21st pair.

So in the spirit of awareness, check this out:

JOSH & BERNADETTE - FIRST COUPLE IN TENNESSEE WITH DOWN SYNDROME TO GET MARRIED.

Josh & Bernadette's Ceremony Highlight from AndyCam Productions on Vimeo.

Someday I envision my daughter, Emma Sage walking down the aisle with her beloved Ryan. Last summer at the NDSC Convention in Boston, Ryan got down on his knees, with a fresh picked petunia in hand and asked Emma Sage to Marry Him!!!! She said YES!!!! Click Here to see photographs of the precious moment.

and then last year at the New York City Buddy Walk, they had their first 'official' date, as they decided that they were going to sit by themselves at the HardRock Cafe'

and here they are greeting each other after not seeing each other for over a half-a-year......

All I can say after looking at Josh & Bernadette's Wedding is ~ Mark your calendars for 2025, as Ryan & Emma Sage will be following in the footsteps of this beautiful couple!

Yesterday......

2009-09-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day of reflecting......as it had been three years since my beloved Mother left her earthly bounds.

One thing that I have realized for a long time, is that I am usually the one behind the lens, capturing photographs of the moments of my and my families life journey. As I sat and watched the images of my Mother on my screen, I realized that I needed to make sure that I'm in more photographs, just for memories sake, as I would have been so sad if I did not have these little glimpses in time to reflect back on and remember how my mother looked throughout her life time.

Photography has always been a passion of mine [but I really dislike myself in photographs, so hiding behind the lens has always been my way of staying out of photographs]

So yesterday, after taking a few hundred photographs of our day......[which I need to share of Emma Sage] as we went for a walk, went to a book signing [Jerome the Gnome] went to the graveyard and then I was off to a babyshower. Of the 400+ images I shot of these moments, I decided to turn the camera on myself and take a self-portrait. I shot 8 frames [actually, Emma Sage shot them, as we set the camera up on an upside down clay pot [from my garden bench] placed it on the picnic table and then I set the timer, and when I sat down, I had Emma Sage push the button, giving me 10 seconds to stare into the lens and pray a good image was captured.....trying to look deep into the lens so that when my children look at this photograph many years from now, they will say "I remember Mom at 45....."

So here is what I came up with.....

and here is one that Emma Sage took of my Mother and I, the March before she passed away. I treasure this photograph, as I don't have too many of she and I together as adults ~ as I was usually the one photographing, or we were always in big, group shots.

So, I guess the point of my story here is, feel good in your own skin, take the time to capture moments....but make sure you are in the photographs some of the time, and hug your Mother, as when she is gone, the loss is great.

I miss you so dearly Mom......

2009-09-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Flower Shop.....

2009-09-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Fran is at it again......Thank you for bring a huge smile to my face and lifting my spirits!! You truly are a gem and I'm so blessed our paths have crossed.

Remembrance......

2009-09-11T06:37:00.001-07:00

Eight years ago..........September 11, 2001

Eight years ago.............our world shook. It wasn't because of a natural disaster, like the Tsunami or Hurricane Katrina, but it was a far worse disaster ~ because it was created by human hatred

Life for our family is good [we are truly blessed] and the morning of September 11, 2001 found us in our typical daily routine.........up early, breakfast, drive the children to school and then Emma Sage and I would come home to a quite morning.

Rick was in Montreal, Canada, for school [we had been up to see him a week earlier and spent a glorious vacation touring Montreal, driving home Labor Day weekend.........because of the terror attacks Rick was not able to return home to us for days.]

I dropped Katrina and Greta off at Woodglen and then drove down the valley to drop Otto off at school at Valley View. On the way to Valley View I noticed a plane flying very low..........lower than I have ever seen a commercial flight on the flight pattern we see from our area heading to Newark Airport. I notice planes all the time because of Ricks career in aviation. I shrugged it off as maybe I was just off my bearings that morning.

It was truly a glorious September day,,,,,,,,,,,,,the sky was bright blue, the air was dry and warm, the landscape was draped in light that just made it look like a Rembrandt painting.

Emma Sage and I got home and went inside to hear the phone ringing. I answered the phone and it was my sister Patti, telling me to turn on the news as a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I had a brief moment of fear..............I had worked for years in the area and at one point in my life, had dinner at least once a week at Windows of the World,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then another sinking fear, I was supposed to be at a financial conference put on by Risk/Waters magazine this morning, but I had turned the job down because I just couldn't leave Emma Sage.

I watched the TV,,,,,talking with Patti on the phone. I said to her that I couldn't believe a small plane could have done such damage. I started to cry...........holding Emma Sage in my arms, pacing back and forth, kissing her sweet head and talking with Patti.........
and then BAMM!!!!

In horror my sister and I [on the phone with each other] watched the second plane crash into the second tower. I knew as I watched the plane that it was a big commercial plane and at that exact moment I knew this was a calculated attack.

Patti and I were both crying,,,,,trying to come to terms with what we just saw. All along I clutched this precious child of mine to my chest. Not wanting to let go of her, afraid of what was going on.

This was familiar territory to me..........buildings that were an important part of my life. I watched these buildings being built,,,,,my father driving us to the city from time to time to marvel at the progress of the towers going up,up,up,,,up. A fellow skydiver friend of mine jumped off the Trade Center. I dined at Windows of the World weekly for a few years, I traveled through the towers everyday to the American Express tower in the Financial Trade Center and the building I worked in for Merrill Lynch was the last building to fall on that fateful day. As I watched the TV screen, I was paralyzed by fear and overcome by a sadness that was, to this day, so utterly profound.

I tried to call Rick and was finally able to get through to him in Canada to let him know what was happening in the states.

I then I felt so alone. Watching the horror unfold............talking to my sister and crying, and holding my precious little girl.

As time has moved forward, I realize that there is a reason for everything [sometimes many reasons] and I know that Emma Sage is a blessing in multiple ways..........but one incredible feeling I will never release is the feeling that I have knowing that her extra chromosome [her Down syndrome] is a major reason I was not at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Her birth made Rick and I realize that my being home with the children [but especially this child],,,,giving up much in the way of income,,,,meant that she would have only family to care for her..........to work with her,,,to help her develop to her fullest potential, and it kept me home on that fateful Tuesday in September.

Today I remember a dear friend, David E. Rivers,Editor of Risk/Waters Magazine.......You were truly an amazing man, editor, writer, friend, husband and father. David, you are missed dearly and will never be forgotten.

This is the memorial at our township park.....these are beams from one of the World Trade Center buildings.

3,715 flags.......

Otto helped place these flags on the field on Wednesday evening with his Boy Scout troop.......he said that each flag he placed, he had to hold back tears......

Writen by a child........may we always remember.

Thank you Fran......

2009-08-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

My Dear friend Fran is at it again.....look what she created this time. You know me and Angels and Fairies, so this just melted my heart!!!!

Thank you!

This is for AB&Cs Mom

2009-08-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

You asked what was on Emma Sage's T-shirt......

I do think in the one picture the little girl was looking to read her shirt, but I have to share, that I have so many pictures that I have taken over the years, that capture how children 'stare' when they meet Emma Sage for the first time [or two] and are trying to figure out what is 'different' about her.

Isn't this the coolest shirt? I got it at the Princeton Down syndrome Awareness program. I can't remember the name of the vendor, I assume they must have a website and if I find it in a search, I'll post it.

Field Hockey 2009

2009-08-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

The field hockey season has begun, and this season there is a new Hintz out on the playing field. Emma Sage is going into second grade this year, and is now 'Officially' our newest player. Even though the kid has had a stick since she was a baby [I have to go find it and take a picture of it, but it is the cutest darn thing ever...so small]

Eleven years ago, my friend Alison and I started the Lebanon Township Junior Field Hockey program. Greta was the first 2nd grader in our township to play, we had one 3rd grader [Alison's daughter] and 8 ~ 4th graders [Katrina and my friends daughter Stephanie, and six of their friends] so it has been so wonderful to see the program come full circle for me as Emma Sage is now out on the field.

Emma Sage loves hockey, indoor and field hockey, so she has been so excited all week. Unfortunately, it has been hot and humid, so it does wipe her out a little bit, but she is such a trooper and is all grins on and off the field.

One of the things that has hit me the hardest as I watch my little girl out on the field, is the realization that it seems like yesterday that Greta was my 2nd grader out there playing, and time has moved forward so swiftly and in reality, she is off to college in one week.

The other thing that brought tears to my eyes watching Emma Sage was that one of the few things that I wished and dreamed for after Emma Sage was born and we realized she had Down syndrome was for her to [1. read,,,,,,,that I truly did pray to GOD for and ask that she be given the gift of learning to read] and the other was that she would be able to participate in field hockey and other sports and activities [as sports are such a big part of our lives] so here she is........learning and playing field hockey.

and in action~*~*~*~*~

and one tired girl ready for a water break:

I have to go find and scan in pictures of Katrina and Greta at their first practice......

2009-08-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."~Ralph Waldo Emerson

~Please Vote for Emma Sage~

2009-07-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

My photograph of Emma Sage eating a delicious ice cream cone along the banks of the Raritan River has made it to the final round and now it is time to vote:

VOTE FOR EMMA SAGE [click this link]

Thank you so much for your support!!!!!

But we are not a family......

2009-07-27T17:47:00.001-07:00

"But we are not a family" are the words spoken from my little girl.

"Otto, Greta and Nini are not here so we can't be a family" she continues.

Awe.........

That was the response I got when I told Emma Sage that her Daddy was taking she and I out to Gronsky's Milk House for an ice cream treat [her most favorite thing in the summer] and that were were going just us, as a 'family'.

But to her, we are not a 'family' as three members are missing.

We miss you Otto, Greta and Katrina [and look what you are missing.......Gronsky's Ice Cream!!!]

Tis' the Season ~ Raspberry Time

2009-07-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

This is the Columbia Trail, that runs from the town I grew up in [High Bridge] up along the river to just north of Califon [where we have lived for the last 22 years, and where Emma Sage's Daddy was born and raised] It used to be a train bed [and when we were younger and out berry picking along the tracks, we would sometimes hop on a freight train that were creeping by.....they went sooooooooooooooooo slow, that you could run faster than they were going]

Now it is this amazing running/hiking/biking/horseback riding trail through one of the most picturesque places I know.

So last night, this little Imp and I went down to High Bridge to hop on the trail and berry pick [she also had an ulterior motive, as Gronsky's Milk House is also in High Bridge and she wanted Ice Cream too!!!!

And look what we found..........Japanese Winesap Berries.

More than you could ever imagine.......just stretched for miles along the trail [we are heading back out today with two big pails and a little more time on our side to pick] Yesterday's trip were eaten as we walked.

So sweet and delicious!

Yes, this is what you call a Raspberry overload face.......Yummy!!!

We then called PopPop and he ordered a Chocolate Ice Cream in a cup and we brought it up to him to finish out a wonderful evening out, just me and my littlest one.

This was taken two years ago, with a little of our bounty from our property. Rick has been busy clearing out all the stone walls around our property, and thus, our berry patches are gone. We have a few left, and I've been rooting the canes as they are cleared out, so hopefully next summer we will only have to walk out our door to pick.

Foever......

2009-07-26T08:30:00.001-07:00

This will make you smile....tear a little from the realization that there is just so much LOVE and ENERGY surrounding this union.

2009-07-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!
~Kalidasa

2009-07-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

“May your days be many and your troubles be few
May all God's blessings descend upon you.
May peace be within you may your heart be strong.
May you find what you're seeking wherever you roam.”
~An Irish Blessing

Missing my Mother dearly today.......off with Emma Sage for a walk up the lane to the graveyard to visit. May your day be filled with an abundance of Blessings........

My little dare-devil

2009-07-15T18:52:00.001-07:00

This child has no fear.....she will try anything, and usually with a smile on her face.

Tubing on the Delaware with her cousins......fun stuff.

Yummmmmm.......Ice Cream, Blue Bunny Ice Cream

2009-07-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

5 Minutes for Special Needs is running a photo contect......

Here is my little ice cream lovers entry.

Go check it out and enter your little ice cream lover........

I scream, you scream ~ We all scream for Ice Cream!!!!!

What children pick-up......

2009-07-13T03:45:00.000-07:00

One of the things that has always amazed me is how children pick-up everything that is going on around them, even if it is in bits and pieces.

A case in point: Emma Sage does not watch regular TV, she can watch the Disney Channel or DVDs, History Channel or her current favorite, The Weather Channel [she is hysterical with that one, as she is now my little weather forecaster!]

But there is TV in the home from time to time [especially if Daddy is home] and it is usually the news.

I had yet to mention the passing of Michael Jackson to Emma Sage.......first, because she truly is moved when she knows someone has died [and why expose her to more death than she has to be aware of] and secondly, I don't think she even knows who Michael Jackson is [I like his music, loved him as a young girl and I know how to do the Thriller Dance.....but that is as far as my fan-ship went] so it just hasn't been discussed here around her.

Well, she comes up to Rick the other night and has tears in her eyes......he asks her "What is the Matter?" and she says, "Jackson died....I really Miss him" He proceeds to say "Michael Jackson?" and she says "Yes, Jackson....he was FIVE" lol!!!

The kid has picked up from the background news programs [and I think now reading the covers of the tabloids at the grocery store [she is becoming a great reader] that a 'Jackson' has died and has figured out he was five because she must have heard 'The Jackson Five' a few times.

Too cute.

So, I sat down with her and explained who 'Michael Jackson' was and she is now learning how to do the 'Thriller Dance' herself!

R.I.P. Michael.....knowing you have a new little fan.

2009-07-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

This was created by my dear friend Fran.....Thank you.

Let Freedom Ring......

2009-07-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

"Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better." ~Albert Camus

This child of mine......

2009-07-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

just makes me laugh, often.

Tonight we were all out getting some things that Daddy needs before his trip and we were driving in the car. Emma Sage turns to Greta and says "Greta, Text me" [she had my phone in her hands]

Greta turns to her and says "Why?"

Emma Sage replies "It will keep me busy!"

lol!!!!!

Sharing a beautiful gift.......

2009-07-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

My children will be the first to tell you that I am the biggest sap in the whole world. I cry at commercials. Songs can move me to tears and laughter. I can only watch love stories or comedy's as anything else can profoundly move me, from sadness, to fear, to uncertainty, so very easily [and I feel my emotions with my entire being] so I just avoid movies and shows that are not, romance or comedy [two emotions that I embrace fully and easily]

Reading is my greatest passion and with reading, I can read more powerful stories, as I have the ability to pause and regroup much easier than in a film or musical score.

So, one of my most favorite things to read is true life stories, of love, of hope, of dreams come true.

The best place to read such stories is at my favorite ministry called Reece's Rainbow, as it is an international adoption resource for children with Down syndrome to be adopted. Sadly, in many countries outside of the U.S., children with Down syndrome that are not adopted by a certain age are destine to be institutionalized for life.

If you want to be empowered, to see the Grace of GOD at work, scroll through this page at Reece's Rainbow, as it is the photographs and stories [links to blogs] of families who have reached out and adopted a child with Down syndrome from around the globe.

and then if you will, click on one of the links to the children who are awaiting a forever family and if you are able, make a donation [however large or small] to help ease the cost of adoption, so that the dreams and hopes of a waiting child and their forever families may come true]

I promise you, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Reece's Rainbow

I Am Neda

2009-06-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

“Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy, because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.” ~ Jimmy Carter

I Am Neda........

My big girls at Camp PALS

2009-06-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

Just sharing two photographs of my big girls at Camp PALS.

I just love the blog and being able to follow along the activities of the campers [and counselors] as the day's roll forward] Emma Sage made me record her today saying "I can't WAIT for Camp PALS" because she loves seeing all the video clips [she got the inspiration from the invitation that some of the Campers made to the sponsors to join them on Saturday at the closing ceremonies.

We are heading out early in the morning, as Katrina said that they have a few things for Emma Sage to do and they wanted her to join them for lunch and the to watch the closing ceremonies. I can't wait to see my little girl at camp.......as she is so excited to go again this year. I hope to remember my camera!!!!

Camp PALS 2009

2009-06-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

This week is Camp PALS. It is both Katrina and Greta's favorite weeks of the year, as they have headed down to Cabrini College and are volunteering as Counselors. Katrina is now a head counselor and is in charge of the Purple Princesses. Greta is a counselor for a wonderful young lady named Miranda and they are part of the Pink Pather team.

Come visit this link and scroll down, watch videos and look at pictures......you will notice my girls about camp.

Camp PALS Link

On Saturday morning, Grammy, Emma Sage and I are heading down to camp to visit with the campers and girls [Emma Sage is a mascot and is invited to have lunch with all the campers] and then we will be off to the closing ceremonies.

It will be bittersweet, as we get to spend a few hours with Katrina before she heads back down to college in Florida. You know, this stuff about your children growing up and heading off to college and on with their lives can be sometimes very hard to handle. We have only been blessed to visit with Katrina for a week since last August........and sadly, I really don't know when we will get to see her next [praying it is sooner than 8 months again]

2009-06-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

"I hope your dreams take you to the corners of your smiles,
to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities,
and to the most special places your heart has ever known." ~Author Unknown

Last night, our Greta donned a mortarboard and gown and walked with her classmates as graduates of Voorhees High School, class of 2009. She graduated with honors, and wore the black/red/gold cord for National German Honor Society and the golden cord of National Honor Society.........a golden ribbon was pinned on each students gown in memory of their classmate Tucker, who left their sides way too soon on this journey.

Rick graduated from the same school in 1977 and I in 1981.......as well as her Aunt Heidi 1979, Uncle Kenny 1982, Uncle Mikey in 1989, Aunt Patti in 1991 and her big sister Katrina in 2007...........it was a cloudy evening and quite chilly,,,,,,but the sun began to shine upon the graduates halfway into the ceremony and I was looking for a rainbow to appear.

I had tears of joy.......and a few of sadness, as this moment in time has begun to hit me hard.....harder than I had thought. I think that the realization that my Greta is now off on her life journey [like her sister Katrina] and the reality that there will be greater periods of time before I get to see her, has tugged hard on this Momma's heartstrings.

Emma Sage was the first to let the tears fall.......as she fully understands that Greta is leaving soon, just like Katrina did and she is not all that happy about it.

What a great class of kids this group was.....they headed to Project Graduation and partied the night away. When Greta returned this morning at 6:30 a.m. she gave me a big hug and the greatest smile and said she had the 'Time of Her Life'..........

This is just the beginning my dearest Greta.....Make each day the 'time of your life' and celebrate all the little things ~ as they truly are the treasures of life.

I love you.............

2009-06-02T11:26:00.001-07:00

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

2009-06-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life. ~Isadora James

Trout and Cinnamon

2009-05-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, actually, we omitted the cinnamon this time around......while I really wanted to 'try' Emma Sage's recipe, I also did not want to ruin a perfectly, delicious rainbow trout.

If you notice, little Miss has a runny nose mustache. She as ill this week with a cold and cough. Feeling better now, especially after a trout dinner.

Happy Mother's Day.......

2009-05-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today was a delightful day for me......as I slept in a little later than usual, was greeted with lots of loving wishes and hugs.

A great big cup of java and a day that was picture perfect.

I spent the day cleaning and organizing, whilst Emma Sage went grocery shopping with her Daddy. Otto got to go play at his cousins, and Greta caught up on her sleep before work.

Katrina sent lots of love through the phone and we dined with my sister and brother and their families.........truly a perfect day.

Of coarse, Mother's Day is much more difficult when your own beloved Mother is absent, as it reminds you how much she is missed and loved and that having a Mother as loving and giving as your own is one of the most precious things in the world......and it hurts when there is such a void of love.

Emma Sage's class made an adorable cookbook to share with their Mothers........it was such cute to read each child's contribution.

Here is Emma Sage's....I know it will make you smile as much as it did for me.

and if you are ever in the neighborhood, stop by, and we'll pop on over to the river and catch a fresh trout to cook up for you. [we actually had five beautiful rainbow trout fresh caught from the river two weeks ago]

Enjoy!!!

P.S. I've never tried cinnamon with my trout...that was Emma Sage's idea! lol!!!

.....and on the back page it continued:

broccoli, salt and pepper in the the trout pan. Cook it for 2 minutes on high heat. Wait 3 hours on low heat and then it is done cooking. Finally it is time to eat it. Enjoy the food!!!!!

I hope you had a beautiful Mother's Day....one filled with quiet moments, tender thoughts, belly laughs and trout!!!!!

EmmaSage

Conflicting Messages

A sad little girl......

The Year of the Rabbit ~ The Gift of a Grandmother

The Beatitudes for Friends of Exceptional Children

The Power of Pizza

Sesame Street: Will.i.am's Song "What I Am"

Remembering my Sweet Mother......

Conversations with Emma Sage

Stand By Me - completely unknown artists

God Doesn't Make Mistakes - Down syndrome song CD

i have a voice - Down syndrome Awareness Project

There are times........

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

More Magic from my dear friend Fran.......

Remembrance.......

Quiet Reflection

the ebb and flow of life......

Bob Marley - Redemption Song Live In Dortmund, Germany

My Greatest Blessing in Life is becoming a Mother

Please come Vote for Camp PALS

My Passion for Photography

My heart is calling me to adopt again.........need to find a way.

.....how do you say 'Thank you'

My Sweet Girl is Nine Years Old

To My Soul-Sisters *~* Happy Mother's Day

"Katrina, I have three words for you"

*~Happy Birthday Mommy~*

an Emma Sage funny ~~~~

Right me up.............

Oh how divine.....

Working it out through song.....

On My Soap Box.....

A Must Read........Nella Cordelia

Treasure her......

My Cup Runneth Over

Hugs-o-War

Happy Birthday......

A Christmas Prayer

~Remembering~

A Wish Come True

My Christmas Wish

31 for 21

31 for 21 - Pure Joy

Post Cards for Emma Sage

31 for 21 ~ Camp PALS

31 for 21..........Siblings

31 for 21 .....He is Ulysses, not Down syndrome

31 for 21.....-Mom come quick-

31 for 21 - Can-Do Abilities

31 for 21 - Reece's Rainbow

31 for 21......Welcome to Holland

31 for 21

31 for 21 - Wordless Wednesday

Gnome Wisdom

31 for 21 - Michael Jurogue Johnson

31 for 21 - Mosaic Down syndrome

31 for 21 - Violets and Daisies

31 for 21

31 for 21 - Our Beginning

October is National Down syndrome Awareness Month

Yesterday......

I miss you so dearly Mom......

The Flower Shop.....

Remembrance......

Thank you Fran......

This is for AB&Cs Mom

Field Hockey 2009

*~Please Vote for Emma Sage~*

But we are not a family......

Tis' the Season ~ Raspberry Time

Foever......

My little dare-devil

Yummmmmm.......Ice Cream, Blue Bunny Ice Cream

What children pick-up......

Let Freedom Ring......

This child of mine......

Sharing a beautiful gift.......

I Am Neda

My big girls at Camp PALS

To My Soul-Sisters ~ Happy Mother's Day

~Happy Birthday Mommy~

~Please Vote for Emma Sage~